The Couch, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Me…
Yep, it’s the shower again folks or at least that’s where it began. Just as I was about to step in the shower I looked down at my chest and realized I had forgotten to clean out or flush my feeding tube.
I am alone in the house right so I get the special funnel and a cup with some water in it. Normally it takes two people because my hands shake worse than Elvis Presley’s knees when he sang “Jail House Rock” in 1957. But I have overcome that obstacle by lying on the couch in the den semi propped up; knees bent upward, water in the cup on my left side, and the funnel in my lap.
Then it is easy to pinch off the tube with my right hand, pop open the top with my left and insert the funnel into the tube, grab the cup of water in my left hand while holding the funnel and tube against my knees to steady the shaking. After making sure the funnel is not shaking, I lift the cup of water, rest it against my knee, and pour the water into the funnel filling it about a fourth of the way from the top. After un-pinching the tube, the water flows through the tube rinsing it out. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
Try it when you are buck-naked and two Jehovah's Witnesses come to your side door with a slanted view directly to the couch! With flailing legs, torso, and arms, I had water all over the couch, carpet, and me. The look on those poor women’s faces was priceless. By the time, I had run back to the bath to recover my robe, they were gone.
I have no problem with the Jehovah’s Witnesses and if they want to read me, a passage out of Isaiah then that is fine. I am a good Lutheran, I wonder if they will ever be back.
I am alone in the house right so I get the special funnel and a cup with some water in it. Normally it takes two people because my hands shake worse than Elvis Presley’s knees when he sang “Jail House Rock” in 1957. But I have overcome that obstacle by lying on the couch in the den semi propped up; knees bent upward, water in the cup on my left side, and the funnel in my lap.
Then it is easy to pinch off the tube with my right hand, pop open the top with my left and insert the funnel into the tube, grab the cup of water in my left hand while holding the funnel and tube against my knees to steady the shaking. After making sure the funnel is not shaking, I lift the cup of water, rest it against my knee, and pour the water into the funnel filling it about a fourth of the way from the top. After un-pinching the tube, the water flows through the tube rinsing it out. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
Try it when you are buck-naked and two Jehovah's Witnesses come to your side door with a slanted view directly to the couch! With flailing legs, torso, and arms, I had water all over the couch, carpet, and me. The look on those poor women’s faces was priceless. By the time, I had run back to the bath to recover my robe, they were gone.
I have no problem with the Jehovah’s Witnesses and if they want to read me, a passage out of Isaiah then that is fine. I am a good Lutheran, I wonder if they will ever be back.
|8:24 PM | Permalink 
Oh my word Edd! I do not think they will be back. :-)
Posted by
Anonymous |
March 07, 2006 11:51 AM
Edd! Carrie (the girl in Antarctica) has a post up with a makeshift map and longitude and latitude! Thanks for stopping by there, it means so much to her!
Posted by
Anonymous |
March 08, 2006 8:55 AM